


the one i wrote on my nintendo 3ds xl™ just because i can (a love story)(part 2)(the trilogy)(revenge of the bass)(now with more wah)

by A_M_Kelley



Category: Bandom, Megadeth, Metallica
Genre: Crack, I'm so sorry, M/M, and roob is there too i guess who the fock cares, cleef is a focking ghost, dav is a mega asshol, jasonic is eternally crying cuz no one loves him, jaymz is a douchy mcdoucherton, krik is UwU soft boi and needs to be punched cuz he's a goody 2 shoes, larz is an annoying lil bitch, memes y'all, the biggest shitpost i have ever created, this is a cry for help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:48:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25861606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_M_Kelley/pseuds/A_M_Kelley
Summary: this is all in good fun guys. we just meme-ing a lil.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 15





	the one i wrote on my nintendo 3ds xl™ just because i can (a love story)(part 2)(the trilogy)(revenge of the bass)(now with more wah)

**Author's Note:**

> no one put me up to this and yes i genuinely wrote all this on my 3ds as sad as that is

dav was currently getting blasted cuz he's still salty bout being kicked outta the band. larz thot this was funny and decided to laugh at dav cuz everyone knows larz is a fuck boi who gets off on shit like that.

"Zippity zand, yer outta the band," jaymz sing songed as he danced around with his stupid douchey ulti-mullet that looks fucking stupid god somebody pls burn that abomination.

"shut up jaymz. my band is better than yours and mechanix is a far superior song! blah blah blah. i'm a whiny stubborn asshol and can't let go of the past!"

just then krik ham-boi flew in on a wah pedal, playing the guitar and fucking up the solo cuz he's trash and everyone knows dav is better so why the fuck was he kicked outta the band?!#$%

"can't we all just surf and do yoga and just chill out UwU" krik suggested like a bitch ass soft boi.

dav slaps krik across the face cuz dav's an asshol and smashes krik's wah pedal against the wall. saving the world from having to hear another fucked up solo ruined by excessive wah.

nobody:  
krik ham-boi: *cries in wah*

jasonic crawls out from the basement to see what all the commotion is about.

"papa het can i play the bass now pls," jasonic whined, hunched over like gollum from those awesome hobbit movies. god damn were those movies fucking amazing. way better than whatever this mistake is.

"get back in your cage trash! nobody likes you and your bass is super dumb!" larz bullied, trying to hide his massive receding hairline that he was very sensitive about cuz he's a gremlin ass hoe.

"at least re-release AJFA with the bass properly mixed," jasonic begged like a loser.

"nah. just for that we're gonna re-release AJFA 30 yrs after the fact in a huge over priced boxset and STILL not mix the bass properly cuz we hate you," said the douchey Jaymz. he threw some scraps of food at jasonic's crying face and shut the basement door in his face.

dav got up and stamped his feet like a baby as he sucked on a bottle of alcohol like a baby bottle.

"let me back in the band! blah blah i'm a carrothead asshol blah blah!"

"sorry i can't hear you over the massive lawsuit i filed against napster," said the big head ass, crypt keeper lookin ass larz.

"whaddya **mean** i can't be in the band?!" dav sang in that annoying ass voice from his stupid song *squints at sharpie written on hand* piss smells but who's drinking.

"i just want us to love and be loved and use the wah and be everyone's favorite and UwU i'm so cute and precious and everyone loves me and not dav and OwO UwU soft boi vibes," krik ham-boi whined. at least i think that's what he said cuz in reality he was just making a bunch of wah noises that were out of tune.

all hell breaks loose. dav his drowning his sorrows in alcohol while he sings if you can call it that and punches everyone in the face. larz has a nervous break down as his hairline begins to disappear like his ability to play the drums, jasonic is crying from the basement as he strums on his bass that no one can hear. jaymz has just devolved into saying yeah-yeah over and over again in that annoying twang of his you know what i'm talking about. just ask jim breuer. and krik prepares a funeral for his beloved wah pedal.

everyone is being stupid slut bags when outta nowhere cleef bruton himself ascends from the heavens in a white robe and playing the bass cuz harps are gay. they all stare up at cleef in awe and the sheer power of cleef's bass is enough to shut up all their annoying ass bitching cuz holy fuck is this story a waste of time.

"everyone shut the fuck up. i didn't die just to see you guys act like whiny bitch bois," said cleef with his majestic hair flowing all around him.

"cleef! what are you doing here?" shouted jaymz.

"i'm here to tell you asshols that some stupid troglodyte bitch with no life and nothing better to do is writing you out to sound like bigger dumb asses than you really are and is portraying you at the most basic level of your character traits."

everyone stops and turns to look at the giant nintendo 3ds xl™ screen floating above them as these words are being typed out cuz this dumb bitch actually thot typing this story out on a nintendo 3ds xl™ would be a fucking funny and super "lol omg i'm so qwerky" moment despite the fact that she hasn't written in this fandom for almost a year and has the audacity to not just finish her story "right hand on my heart" already. god damn shit fuck just finish it. it's not that hard.

"so all of this was just bullshit?" larz asked.

"yes... except dav is still kicked outta the band, jaymz is an asshol, larz' hairline is beyond saving, krik uses too much fucking wah, and jasonic will never hear his bass mixed properly unless you go to youtube and listen to FAN MADE mixes since you asshols were too stubborn to do it your damn selves," said cleef with a disapproving shake of his head.

this is where the author is supposed to really tie this whole greek tragedy together with the most hilarious gut busting zinger that makes this god awful fic worth the read, but she gets interrupted cuz she forgot about roob tri-jal-lio just like everyone else cuz he's the most forgettable one. and cuz we're already at the end of this trainwreck and i guess he needs to be here too.

suddenly a chip bag crinkles off to the side and everyone looks over to see roob tri-jal-lio sitting in the corner eating chips.

"i'm here too!" said roob.

the end...

aw fuck!

i forgot about ron mcgovney.


End file.
